cycle 16

Well we just had our 16th cycle fail. I am disappointed as we really thought I was pregnant. I hate disappointing Aaron even more so than disappointing myself. So what does this mean? Well, Aaron is picking up Clomid on his way home. We will try 3 cycles of clomid with watching my progesterone. This is needed because since I already ovulate, Clomid could do 1 of 3 things. 1. It may not change anything. 2. It may make me super ovulate (which is what we want!) raising my chances of conceiving (more eggs = more targets) or 3. It could confuse my body and make me stop ovulating. I am disappointed that we have to go this route but excited to take action and hopefully get this little one on the way! We will be doing 3 cycles of Clomid and then if still no baby I will meet with my specialist at the beginning of the year to discuss artificial insemination.

Stronger

If I could use one word to describe how infertility has changed me, I would have to say I am stronger then I ever was before. Over the past 15 months I have smiled through baby announcements, baby showers and the baby Aisle.  I have fought back tears as people are clueless about the heartache of secondary infertility. I have forced a smile on my face and say soon when he tells me he wants a baby brother. I have stood up for myself and worked with my RE to develop a treatment plan that works for me. I have endured painful test, blood work and the disappointment on my husbands face. All while saying/crying to internally  why  can I not have another one?

 I do not know why God has gave this trial, but I do know that God is in control of it all. There is a baby out there for us for Ian to call his Brother or Sister. 

Plans are meant to be changed

In our household, when one of us think we have the plans figured out, they usually change! I went to my RE on Thursday and Came up with a plan for the next 9 months. 3 months of trying following the HSG I had, 3 months of Clomid, 3 Cycles of IUI. Well luckily my Dr is flexible because after talking with Aaron we have decided to change our plan of action.

The Dr's all day the 3 months after an HSG you have a higher chance of getting pregnant. So Aaron and I talked and he asked why not take advantage of that and also use Clomid to make it even more likely that I will get pregnant. The sooner the better in my mind! So when my Dr calls me on Tuesday or Wednesday with another test result, if everything looks good, I am going to talk to them about starting Clomid late next week.  I am very excited and a little nervous! Excited to get this baby on its way! Nervous because the side effects can be pretty bad! (If you see Aaron with a black eye it was the clomid not me!!) 

All this of course depends on how this cycle goes. I am currently on day 21 of my cycle and starting to feel some symptoms that are making Aaron and I wonder if I am pregnant. We can not find out for about another week and a half so for now it is just waiting and going crazy! This is not the first month I have had some kind of symptom but we are hoping that this month will be the month and this baby will stick! If not, bring on the treatments! 

Game Plan

Ah relief.... We have a game plan! I am one who has to know the plans and not knowing where we were going with our treatment was driving me insane! So I met with Dr. Williams ( Infertility specialist) today and we developed a plan. One that I am in control of and one that I am very pleased with.

Of course, Just like Dr Olah (My OBGYN) Dr Williams is very happy with all of our test results. Which is kinda frustrating! I am thankful things have came out good but just wish we could see the reason why we cant conceive. My HSG from last week, looked great so with that, my odds of conceiving are higher for the next 3 months. Sometimes there are buildups the xray doesn't detect that the dye clears, it can enhance ovulation, and make the uterus more acceptable for implantation. Our goal is that this will happen in the 3 months for us.

If not pregnant after the post HSG 3 months then around Thanksgiving I will be starting clomid for 3 months. Even though I am ovulating, Clomid will still raise my chance of conceiving. (Currently a 10% chance, but with Clomid around a 20%-30%) We will try those 3 months and if still not pregnant will go back and discuss our next steps. Right now those next steps will be to decide whether to have exploratory laparoscopy or Artificial insemination.

We are praying hard that either the 3 months of HSG increased fertility will work or the 3 months of clomid. We thank you all for your thoughts and prayers for us as we go through our journey with secondary infertility.